Many women now face the problem of alcoholism in the family. "My husband drinks every day, what should I do? ", " My husband has been drinking for 10 days, how should I behave? "- these questions have been heard more and more often lately. Of course, the husband is an alcoholic - it's scary. And drunken alcoholism, if not fought, is generally capable of turning life into eternal torment. But here you must always remember that alcoholism is a disease, not a personal choice of a particular person. The sick person undoubtedly needs the support of relatives, especially when he cannot cope with the problem alone. But, as a rule, when the husband drinks, the wife suffers first. And in such moments the question often arises: what to do when the husband is drunk? There are several ways out of this situation: leave it and get a divorce or try to fight for your life and help your loved one. Although we can say with confidence that this battle will not be easy. But the decision here must be made by the woman herself, no advice from a psychologist will help. Only she can decide for herself what she wants and what she can do to achieve her goal.
Hard decision
Divorce is the simplest and easiest solution. Thus, a woman seems to be released from responsibility for the future fate of the man. But in this case you have to adhere to a certain behavior. The bottom line here: if you decide to leave, leave. Whatever the persuasion or request, it is important to know that the promises of an alcoholic cannot be trusted. He will do anything to convince his wife: to cry, to give gifts, to fall to her knees. If that doesn't work, he may resort to violence or blackmail. Therefore, you should not follow his example, because believing this once, you can provoke the repeated repetition of such concerts. And they can last more than a week and even more than a month. The advice of a psychologist in this case is unequivocal: you must make a firm decision, clearly convey this to your husband, do not believe in promises and do not give in to regret. We must always remember that no matter how bad a husband is, a woman will be twice as bad.
If the choice is made in the direction of struggle and help of the closest man, then the woman will have to be patient. The most important thing in this case is to understand why the husband started drinking and then go deeper into solving this problem. Today there are many ways to wean a person from drinking alcohol.
First of all, you need to learn how to behave properly. If the husband has started drinking more often and periodically starts drinking, you can try to change tactics. In the end, he is sure that once he gets home, he will face a new scandal with tears and smashing plates. Or perhaps he will be met with deathly silence and icy contempt? In any case, you should try to change: to become more attached, to surround him with attention and care, to try to open to him other joys of life, in addition to drinking alcohol. Often this behavior confuses men and then it is much easier to deal with them. At the very least, you will protect yourself and your children from unwarranted aggression and save your nerves.
Second, you should try to protect believers from his drinking friends. In fact, most men drink vodka for company or solitude. When they drink alcoholism, men have very low self-esteem. It seems to them that they are no longer needed by anyone and are not suitable for anything. Try to prove how wrong you are:
- to show that he is the head of the family, its hope and support and that without his participation everything can collapse;
- focus on children who find it psychologically difficult to live with a drinking father;
- to captivate him with new interests and hobbies.
Codependence
It may be that a woman is unable to leave her husband an alcoholic. There may be many reasons for this, but she still needs to understand how to live.
There is such a thing as codependence, when a woman, willy-nilly, falls into social or physical dependence on her husband, trying to get him out of the hole and return him to the family. This usually happens when a woman has a strong emotional attachment to her partner. Only an experienced psychologist can help here.
There are clear signs by which the presence of codependence can be assessed:
- the woman takes responsibility for the health, mood and well-being of her husband;
- she tries to please her husband by doing all the work for him;
- feels the need to help her husband with problems, in general to solve problems for him;
- justifies the husband's inappropriate behavior in front of others;
- she feels guilty about what happened to her husband;
- closes his eyes to the problem, believing that everything that is not done is for the better;
- falls into the same dependence on alcohol without having the strength to resist;
- considers himself a victim of past sins;
- physically or emotionally attached to a spouse.
What to do for a woman when her husband gets drunk
There are many reasons why men go on a long binge. Here are the main ones:
- does not want to oppose addiction;
- family conflicts;
- inability to cope with stress.
Everyone knows that alcohol causes a feeling of euphoria, thus developing one of the strongest addictions in man, which he may not want to overcome. Weak mentality and willpower can also be one of the reasons for heavy drinking. And if the stressful situation at home or at work is long-term, then one can drink almost every day.
Denial of alcoholism is a problem for all alcoholics. You can constantly hear all kinds of excuses, such as: "Yes, I'm an alcoholic and I like it! "or" I don't drink for no reason. "The drinker never admits that he is addicted, it seems to him that he is able to give up drinking whenever he wants. But in fact it all ends with another binge, after which the assurances of themselves and everyone around them in the firmness of their character begin again.
What to do in such a situation is not difficult to understand - to treat unequivocally. But what a wife definitely shouldn't do is worth finding out. Not worth it:
- apologize for drinking too much;
- hide the problem by dressing it with a needle, trying to show that it is not what it is;
- to justify the wife to colleagues or bosses for not working or being systematically late;
- drink with your partner to get less;
- to drink at home, as long as he does not drink on the street;
- to wash and clean up after him the consequences of his alcohol intoxication;
- buy alcohol;
- extortion with sexual relations;
- threaten divorce;
- treats her husband secretly from him.
There are various ways that can help a person get out of overeating:
- drug solution;
- folk remedies;
- psychological assistance and rehabilitation program;
- prayer or conspiracy against alcoholism.
A light binge
With such an initial stage of alcohol dependence you can try to cope with folk methods to get rid of overeating. It is also good that the treatment can be done at home. The first thing you need to do is let the patient sleep and then rest in bed. It is recommended to drink plenty of fluids to restore the water-salt balance in the body. In this case, various fruit drinks, herbal infusions and decoctions are suitable. You can also take a contrast shower, herbal baths, massages and other treatments aimed at improving and restoring the body. It is not worth resorting to medical intervention without consulting a specialist, otherwise you can cause unforeseen complications.
Heavy drinking
When overeating lasts more than three days, you will probably need the help of a narcologist. A specialist can be called home. He will properly assess the patient's condition and prescribe medication to be taken, carefully following the doctor's instructions.
Most often, to relieve withdrawal symptoms, the doctor at home puts intravenous drip, which helps cleanse the blood of alcohol toxins and ethanol breakdown products. It also often contains restorative ingredients and sedatives. The fact is that the drinker often becomes aggressive, panics or has inexplicable fears.
To calm him down and restore the nervous system after overeating, the doctor may advise classes with a psychologist and prescribe psychotropic drugs.
Heavy drunkenness
Heavy drinking usually lasts a week or more. If the situation is practically out of control or the drinker has a history of chronic diseases, in this case can only help the hospitalization of the patient in a drug or toxicology clinic. Hospital treatment will help prevent the possible unpleasant consequences of severe overeating, which can manifest itself in the form of "delirium tremens" or alcoholic psychosis. In this condition, the patient is unable to control himself and can perform aggressive actions aimed at any family member in a state of insanity. Of course, it is advisable not to do this, but if the withdrawal syndrome is suddenly very difficult, treatment with herbs or prayers is indispensable. You must go to a drug treatment hospital as soon as possible, otherwise you can cause serious damage to your health, up to and including death.
conclusions
When the husband is an alcoholic - it is a terrible sorrow for his loved ones. They worry and suffer, even more than the patient himself. Sometimes life becomes so unbearable that you have to make a choice: keep your family or your own health. Rarely is a woman able to end a once happy family life, especially if she has children who still love their father. All she has to do is get her loved one out of this horrible trap. However, it is very difficult to do this yourself and is not really necessary. In this case, one can not do without psychological help and support. The advice of an experienced specialist will tell you how to behave properly and what to do to get your husband out of binge drinking and bring him back to normal life. All you have to do is stock up on patience and by no means despair, because despair can lead to reckless actions that you can sincerely regret.